05 January 2007

It's been a while

So after an arduous workup and deployment period, a Post Operation Movement standdown, a Promotion, an IDC change, a CO change, another 1/2 of a training cycle and a holiday '06 stand-down, I'm back.

I'm exhausted and ready to transfer. Alas, I still have one more year including a work-up period and another deployment. After 2 years already, it's old. The 3 section duty during stand-down and throughout deployment, the painting to cover up the chips and scratches that come from cleaning so much, the dust bunnies that touch everything and reappear 20 mins after you just mopped, eating rice with every meal, and dealing with young-ins that after being in the navy since breakfast think that they know everything and can run the ship by themselves. I'm tired of it. Sick of it all.

I'm not happy doing my job any more. When I try to enjoy it, it seems like it slips through my hands like sand. Maybe I'm holding on too tight. I try and relax and just chill, but something always seems to happen to piss you off more. I thought that when I got promoted the bullshit would stop. Nope... It just got thicker. I'd rather be shot at right now than deal with stupid people. These guys make marines look like friggin geniuses.

It got so bad at one point that I hit the bottle just to relax myself enough to sleep. I was drinking at least once a day. And I would get so annihilated on the weekends that my friends didn't even want to hang out with me. Thats when I realized I didn't need another problem in my life. So I stopped drinking altogether for a little bit before it got worse. But I'm still in an emotional funk. I'm depressed, but its not so bad to call it clinical yet. I have my good days and bad days. I keep trucking on. I guess its not as bad as it could be.

Anyways, I have to get back to work. I'll write later about deployment and how much it sucked.