26 December 2004

I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin

Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you

I'll leave my room open till sunrise for you
I'll keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now I can hear footsteps I'm dreaming
And if you will, keep me from waking to believe this

Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you

Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you

Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
Are you afraid of leaving tonight
Cause I am, I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you
I'm lost without you

(I miss you, I miss you)
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
The shadow in the background of the morgue
The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
We can live like Jack and Sally if we want
Where you can always find me
We'll have Halloween on Christmas
And in the night we'll wish this never ends
We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, I miss you)
(I miss you, I miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
This sick strange darkness
Comes creeping on so haunting every time
And as I stared I counted
Webs from all the spiders
Catching things and eating their insides
Like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
Will you come home and stop this pain tonight
Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head
(I miss you, I miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head

(I miss you, I miss you)[x3]
(I miss you, I miss you) [x4]

Due to the nature of our relationship, I cannot mention names here. Although I want to let her know that I still care, and no it's not your fault. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up, especially after what I told her. Love is strong and will persevere, and yes I want to remain friends. Just some feelings I had to let out in the open. I hope to see you soon...

20 December 2004

Good to be home for the Holidays


Been home now for a few days and have gotten myself settled. Seeing old places and faces again makes me feel good inside. 3 of my old friends are stil here. Chris B. has been down in Fort Sam Houston for OBC. He's now a 2nd LT stationed at Ft. Lewis with the Stryker Brigade as the medical officer (not a Doctor, just a title, as he explained it to me last night). That worries me a little. I knew that there wold be risks involved with being in the military, but it's hard to accept the fact that this may be the last time that you get to spend with someone you grew up with and hung out with for all these years.

Josh D., my best bud... He's stationed on the USS Carl Vinson. He's getting ready for a 'round the world cruise. Good luck there shippey. Haven't seen him yet, but I will.

Adrienne is working an apprenticeship at the shipyard. Haven't seen her yet either, but I will.

The only bad thing about coming home is knowing that you will inevitably have to leave and say goodbye to your loved ones once more, to go do your part to keep them safe. You try not to think about it, but it's always there and that makes the visits that much more cherished. You cherish every second, every moment your with the people that you love.

So helllllllooooooooo Washington!! HELLLLLOOOOOO Port Orchard!!! I'm here to stay for the
next couple of weeks.

As a close, to all my brothers in the Army, Air Force, Marines, Navy, Coast Guard, and Nat'l Guard unable to make it home for Christmas or New Years, keep yourselves safe and sound. You are much thought of here in the states (regardless of what those liberal nitwits say). And if one of you reads this, my email is on my profile. If you want or need someone to talk to, Doc's here. And to all my friends stateside, be thankful for what you have. Because someone else might not have that. And may everyone, whether it be stateside, on the seas, in the air, or on the ground of foreign soil, have a safe, wonderful and Merry Christmas. (Chanukah, Yule, Kwanza, or whatever you celebrate too.)

14 December 2004

Goodbye DC, Goodbye East Coast

Well, this is my last post from good ole Bethesda. I've been here two years and it's about time for me to move on. I had several talks from my superiors, chastizing me for my mistakes, however at the same time wishing me luck for the future. I hold no grudges against anyone as I depart this command.

I've met amazing people here and have made friends for life. I will miss every single one of them. Erica, you are such a sweetheart and I will miss you forever, until we meet again!! Colin, your gone from here, but you were the best guy I knew, besides Eric whom I'll get to in a moment. Eric, Congrats on graduating from FMSS!!! You earned and deserve it as much as the next person. Jen R., didn't really get to know you until I was running short on time, but your heart is big and you should follow it always. To everyone that I have had the pleasure meeting, Fair Winds and Following Seas until our wakes cross once more. Take care of yourself everyone.

To the new people I will meet, I present a warning. Prepare for the most shit hot corpsman to grace the decks of your ship. You will be "MY" Sailors and no one elses. I will protect you with my life as if it were my own.

As I close, I want to share with everyone something special to me....

I solemnly pledge myself before God and these
witnesses to practice faithfully all of my
duties as a member of the Hospital Corps.
I hold the care of the sick and injured to be a
privilege and a sacred trust and will assist
the Medical Department Officer with loyalty
and honesty.
I will not knowingly permit harm to come
to any patient.
I will not partake of nor administer any
unauthorized medication.
I will hold all personal matters pertaining
to the private lives of patients in
strict confidence.
I dedicate my heart, mind and strength
to the work before me.
I shall do all within my power to show
in myself an example of all that is
honorable and good throughout my
naval career.
-Hospital Corpsman Pledge

09 December 2004

Story of My Life

A Couple Songs that Caught My Attention.....
Welcome To My Life
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you

Do you ever wanna run away?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over

Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With the big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like to be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
And no one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy
But I'm not gonna be ok

Everybody always gave you what you wanted
You never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like
What it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like (what it's like)

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked
When you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like

Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
Welcome to my life
-Welcome To My Life, Simple Plan
Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye
And roped me in
So mesmerizing, and so hypnotizing
I am captivated, I am...
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right I swear
I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intention
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that I am...
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I'd be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
So let me slip away
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
Swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself
Like hope Dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption...
-Vindicated, Dashboard Confessional

07 December 2004

Moving Up, and Moving On

Well...I think it's about time to get back to blogging. I know it's been a while and for those who have been wondering and worried, I do apologize.

Things came to a head about two months ago and recently again. I've been scrambling like mad to get everything good to go with my transfer and its really is taking a lot out of me. With all the things going on you rarely have time to realize what you have until it's too late. I experienced this first hand about a month ago, when one of my good friends died in a MVA. He was drunk, and thank the lord that no one else was killed. This is also a reason I haven't been blogging of late. I miss him as much as any friend would, and I just wish that I had more time to spend with him. He is truly one of the special ones in my life and he will be missed.

Now on to happier things....

Because of everything thats going on, and the length of time things have taken, my father ( the ret. Senior Chief) decided to give my CMC a little phone call. Apparently the CMC had no clue I had XOI pending and that I was in fact under orders. What happened next suprised me and all of my friends. All charges were dropped, and as of today I have 7 days left here and then I go home till Jan 8.

I report to SFMIC at Balboa NH, San Diego on the 8th and start class on the tenth. After that My class grads on the 14th and I'm off to Hawaii for three years. This is great. I am relishing and soaking up every bit of it. Haze Gray and Underway baby. Real Navy, Here I Come.

And from what I understand, theres some special things in store for me when I get to San Diego...wink wink. Anyways, I hope this finds everyone well and in good spirits full of Holiday cheer. PEACE!!!

21 November 2004

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know were it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone I walk alone
I walk alone and I walk a-

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line of the edge
And where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive
And I walk alone
I walk alone I walk alone
I walk alone and I walk a-

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of broken dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a-

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I'll walk alone

--Boulevard of Broken Dreams, Green Day

21 October 2004

Photos They Never Show on the News

Sometimes in our everyday lives we tend to forget what's going on elsewhere in the world and that the brave men and women of the service are just like you and I. They have family and friends back home who love them very much and are praying for their safe return. Please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our troops (land, air, and sea) in Afghanistan, Kuwait, Iraq, and around the world. Of all the gifts you could give the US Military, Prayer is the very best one.....

13 October 2004

What to do?

First off, apologies to everyone for my neglect in blogging and blog rolling. I've been too busy getting hammered to really have enough time to post a decent post.

I've never been one for politics. Well, I pay attention to stuff...sometimes. The reason I'm talking about this is that I'm starting to doubt my own beliefs. One of my good friends and I got into a discussion about the first set of debates. It seemed that I didn't have any good arguing points to vote for Bush. I based all of my points on the fact that Bush has given us pay-raises every year(hence he takes care of the military) , and his terrorism policies, which I think are pretty much right on. His "Leave No Child Behind" policy looks good on paper, but so did communism. That I'm still thinking about. It leaves too much room for children to slip through cracks in the system, and bases everything on the fact that the child has to care about their education in the first place, something rarely found in inner cities. Also, It penalizes kids in special circumstances. I had the whole "unconditional" 6 absences and fail that class rule in Jr. High and High School. The question still stands that If a child has a serious medical issue and "unintentionally" misses 6 classes because of appointments or because of illness related to that condition, does it still apply?

On the home front, Bush's domestic policies aren't as strong as they should be. What has he done for the economy, except raise interest rates. Is "Big Buisness" the way to go? I'm not so sure anymore. Only if the answers were so easy to see.

In other news, no news. Not necessarily good news though.
Gotta jet,
Peace and Axle Grease
(PS... To Tragic...Axle grease is just that. It's grease that lubes the axle on your car allowing it to spin without metal rubbing metal.)

08 October 2004

New Corpsman Group Blog

Hey all you slimy suckers and corpsman lovers!!!

Head on over to Musings of a Few Corpsman, a new group blog that Sean has started where a few corpsman get together and share their sea stories and tall tales!!

In other news, still no word on the XOI thing....I'm really getting sick and tired of this fucking run-around that I'm getting handed down. I talked at length with my HM1 this afternon before I left about what he thinks is going to happen to me. He basically said that its up in the air, because of the fact that the new XO is a mystery to everyone. I expressed to him my fears of not being a corpsman anymore, he replied with encouragement that no one was harmed and that everything was rectified in the end. The intentions never were there to harm anyone. He also reaffirmed that everyone was behind me and the fact that I was a good worker before and have continued to be a good worker since, that I am a "Salvageable" sailor. He said the fact that I've approached all this with a good attitude and done the menial tasks that have been assigned with no complaint weighs on my side. I'm crossing my fingers on this one, but not thinking too much about it right now.

I was supposed to go to the bar at College Park with some friends tonight, but no dice. He called me about half-an-hour before we were supposed to leave and said that he had no room in his car for me. Oh well. I'll just sit and rot my ass off. Up yours!!!

Well gotta fly....
Peace and Axle Grease!!

04 October 2004

"Now this is what I call a target rich enviornment"

Well, I went out and bought the Top Gun DVD a couple of days ago and I've decided to dedicate this post to the finest fighter in the Navy's arsenal. Sadly, this year has begun it's decommissioning process. This jet is the Cadillac of fighters and I've decided to go through it's history, the immortilization of this fighter in american pop-culture, and some of my favorite moments from the movie and some more stuff too. So sit back, grab a beer and prepare to enter the 'Danger Zone.'

The History of the F-14 Tomcat

The Grumman F-14 Tomcat is a United States Navy supersonic, twin-engine, variable sweep wing, two-seat strike fighter. The Tomcat's primary missions are air superiority, fleet air defense and precision strike against ground targets.

The F-14 has visual and all-weather attack capability to deliver Phoenix and Sparrow missiles as well as the M-61 gun and Sidewinder missiles for close in air-to-air combat. The F-14 also has the LANTIRN targeting system that allows delivery of various laser-guided bombs for precision strikes in air-to-ground combat missions. The F-14, equipped with Tactical Air Reconnaissance Pod System (TARPS) is the Navy's only manned tactical reconnaissance platform.

The F-14 entered the fleet in 1973, replacing the F-4 Phantom II. The F-14B, introduced in November 1987, incorporated new General Electric F-110 engines. In 1995, an upgrade program was initiated to incorporate new digital avionics and weapon system improvements to strengthen its multi-mission competitive edge. The F-14D, delivered in 1990, was a major upgrade with F-110 engines, new APG-71 radar system, Airborne Self-Protection Jammer (ASPJ), Joint Tactical Information Distribution System (JTIDS) and Infrared Search and Track (IRST). Additionally, all F-14 variants were given precision strike capability using the LANTIRN targeting system, night vision compatibility, new defensive countermeasures systems and a new digital flight control system. The F-14 is currently scheduled to be retired from the U.S. Navy arsenal in the year 2005. It is to be replaced by the McDonnell Douglas F/A-18 Super Hornet.

The F-14 is reputedly named for late Vice Admiral Thomas Connolly, whose testimony before the Senate was critical in the cancellation of the deeply flawed TFX project. Ironically, much of the F-14's equipment was re-used from the TFX, including the radar, Phoenix missile, and the Pratt & Whitney TF30 engines.

Statistics of the Tomcat


Role: Fleet Defense Interceptor
Crew: 2, Pilot and Radar Intercept Officer
First Flight: 1970
Entered Service: 1973
Manufacturer: Grumman

Length: 62 ft 8 in
Wingspan: 64 ft 1 in (extended) 38 ft 2 in (swept)
Height: 16 ft 0 in
Wing area: 565 ft²
Weights: Empty: 39,762 lb
Loaded: 68,649 lb
Maximum takeoff: 74,438 lb

Engines: 2 × General Electric F110-400 Turbofans
Thrust: 20,900 lbf each

Maximum speed: 1,544 mph (Mach 2.34)
Combat range: 576 mi
Ferry range: 2,000 mi
Service ceiling: > 56,000 ft

Guns: M61A1 20-mm Vulcan multibarrel cannon
6 AIM-54s(Phoenix) + 2 AIM-9s(Sidewinder)
6 AIM-7s(Sparrow) + 2 AIM-9s
2 AIM-54s + 3 AIM-7s + 2 AIM-9s
4 AIM-54s + 2 AIM-7s + 2 AIM-9s
(work in progress....check back for updates)

01 October 2004

Still compiling

It might still be a couple days before my big F-14 post is ready. I drank about 3/4 of a bottle of Capt. Morgan last night. I still had to work today, but got off early to go to Quantico. That 3 1/2 cups of water I drank before passing out helped I think. Anyways, tonight im going to a party again to get sloshed and shitfaced all over again. It might be tomorrow or sunday. So stay tuned...

30 September 2004

"I feel the need, the need for speed!!"

I'm working on a big post right now....might take me a couple days. It's dedicated to the now Decom'd F-14 fighter jet. So in the man time, everyone take care...

25 September 2004

The Hangover Blues

Well....Last night was awesome. It would have been better if the ladies were more receptive and plentiful...oh well...

Yeah...I got utterly and completely shitfaced playing some stupid drinking games. Did a 45 sec keg stand...that was cool. I was beat by a little short chick who went an entire minute. Gotta watch out for those short ones...they can really hold their beer.

Anyways, life sucks the next morning. Laying in bed all day with a hangover that only seems to be cured with water, and mcdonalds hamburgers. Lamenting over the previous nights antics.

We played this game with the girls where we took an ice-pop and bit a piece off and passed it aroun in our mouths, the one who got caught with it melted had to chug a beer. The line moved every time to get a new person at the end and beginning. We played another game called "Flip-Cup." what you do is take your cup and fill the bottom with a little beer. The person at the beginning has a full cup and chugs it down then places his cup on the edge right-side up then tries to flip it to land upside down. This is difficult to do even sober. Once he gets it done, the next person goes, chugs his little bit of beer then tries to flip...the deal is that it's guys against girls. theres about five people on either side. It gets pretty woosey after a while.

After a bit I got hiccups and ended up puking in the back yard...then I started drinking agian after a brief washup and a glass of water. All good again.

I wish I brought my camera. Lots of cool stuff going on. And it was all for my buds going away party. Cool beans...

Well off to save the world again...

P.S. Im writing a story and posting it online at

  • Gods Mercy

  • 23 September 2004

    Sic Vis Pacem Para Bellum

    I just watched The Punisher. Great movie if you get a chance to watch it.

    Anyways, today at work I worked down in the cardiology clinic. I was filing all their old records and such, organizing and making everything neat. Busy work. I was starting to feel useless sitting on my ass all the time. Since I can't do patient care right now, I feel pretty useless.

    The big day of judgement is fast approaching. Trying not to think too much about things right now. The fact that I'm broke and sitting on my ass all day I pretty much have nothing else to ponder except my own destiny in this great life.

    I dont have much more to write about right now. Not much really going on. I'll keep everyone posted.

    21 September 2004

    I am hard, but I am fair...

    Sorry....been a while again. I know.

    I've been tired of a lot of things lately. Work, Work, and Stupid people...really, really stupid people.

    Anyways, I went P-Balling agian on Saturday with Doc Haines and some friends of ours. It always seems better with a lot of people. And plus we got a lot of compliments of being very "professional and considerate" with the way we handled ourselves and the way we killed those less fortunate souls who were annihilated by us. It was a fun time.

    Shit....I'm so tired that I dont have much too talk about.

    New things I bought as sympathy gifts for myself:

    1. A home theater system complete with a DVD/VCR combo and surround sound speakers.

    2. A response trigger for my Tippman 98. Helps with the trigger pull so you can fire at a faster rate of fire which is also adjustable.

    Again, I'm tired so I'm gonna go to bed. I'm trying as hard as possible to get posts up at a faster rate, its just that I can't seem to find the time for anything.

    Oh yeah...If anyone is looking for a lesson in the Military Justice system go to Military Justice 101 .

    16 September 2004

    What is your Battle Cry?

    Thanks for the Inspiration Sean!!

    What Is Your Battle Cry?

    Who is that, skulking along the fields! It is Marc, hands clutching a meaty axe! And with a low howl, his voice cometh:

    "In the name of Thor the Mighty, I look forward to hearing the lamentations of thy women!!"

    Find out!
    Enter username:
    Are you a girl, or a guy ?

    created by beatings : powered by monkeys

    14 September 2004

    Suprised! No?

    A couple of days ago I asked a friend of mine to do a tarot reading for me. This is what the cards seemed to show:

    How you feel about yourself right now: The Death Card

    Perhaps you feel that everything as you have known it is falling apart. Unexpected changes and turmoil, end of a job, end of a career, divorce or end of a relationship, recovering from a bereavement or fear of bereavement. Try not to worry too much, this time of absolute endings heralds a brand new beginning, a period of great transformation.

    What you want most at this moment: The Magician

    What you most want is a new love in your life, and when The Magician appears, a new love affair or perhaps a rekindled affair is at hand. All things new are possible, the result is up to you - its all dependent on just how much you want it.

    Your Fears: Strength

    You are fearful of lacking the will power and strength to deal with someone or something that concerns you. Feeling negative and listening to all your fears will only cause failure and lost opportunities. Be as brave as a lion but work compassionately and you’ll be fine.

    What is going for you: Justice

    There is a karmic power to the Justice card, reward for the good deeds you have done in the past. This is a period of good luck even if you don’t know why you are being so favoured. You will approach any issues concerning relationships or business affairs with calm, balanced logic and any claim will go in your favour.

    What is going against you: The Fool

    Beware of impetuous and impulsive decisions, they could cost you dear. Draw on your knowledge and experience, perhaps there are naive and immature beliefs behind your current desires. Are you looking to move onwards and upwards or run away? Look before you leap, you don’t want to appear the fool do you?

    The Outcome: The Empress

    This is a truly creative and fertile time. Expect the best if you are considering having a child, creating a new job or business opportunity or starting a creative project. The Empress symbolizes abundance, joy and happiness, and reassurance - a firm foundation for future progress.

    I normally dont dabble in these sorts of things, but damn! It's accurate and helpful. I should use this method more often.

    Everyone take care of yourself!
    Marc out...

    09 September 2004

    Stupid Girls and Lonely Guys

    I just watched 50 First Dates. Good movie, funny, but at the same time sad. Sad because it made me realize some things about my life that are lacking. Sad becaus eit makes me want to wait till I'm in a commited relationship till I give it up.

    At times, well, all the time I miss that feeling of being able to wrap my arms around someone and hold them close. Someone who'll love me back as much as I love them. What complicates this is that every single day I hear girls talking about their asshole boyfriends and how their sleeping around. Hmmm... lets see. Maybe if you shyed away from that musclebound asshole and looked for a more humble, less attractive guy, you might find a caring, understanding guy. Take myself for example, the hopeless romantic. I worship women, as they should be. They are the ones who god gave us to love, they are the ones he put to make us feel loved, they are the mother of our children. My bud told me that its too forward to give a girl a single rose on the first date, or buy her flowers. Maybe it is but thats just the kind of guy I am. I open doors and I refuse to let her pay for anything. I respect her like she is the queen of the modern world. Why don't some of these girls/women see that if they just lowered their standards a little on what kind of guy they want they might just find someone they like. I've been told that I'm not ugly, that I'm a sweet guy, that I give good backrubs, but....but I'm not the kind of guy shes looking for. What kind of guy are you looking for. One that cheats on you, one that goes out drinking with his friends on your birthday or anniversary, one that makes you do his laundry. Yeah, you go on and see what happens. I dont know... Maybe it's just me....

    07 September 2004

    Push my fingers into my eyes...

    ...It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache...

    Hey y'all!

    Well it was a long weekend for me. It was full of pleasure, pain, and good companionship.

    Friday: I just get off work from Thursday night and my buddy calls me on the phone and tells me to meet him on the smoke deck. I go out there and he asks if I wanted to go to Quantico to get our hair cut, go to Wal-mart to get bins for his truck, and then go to get my phone. I was like cool, thats sounds good. So off we go. It's about an hour to hour and a half drive to Quantico. Why go that far just for a hair cut. Because its the only place that does it the way we like. Short, like Marine Regs short. Plus you get a shoulder and scalp massage, and no it doesn't come with a "Happy Ending" for all you sickos out there. So we drive down there and get our hair cut and drive to Wally-Mart, and as luck would have it, they didn't have the bins that he needed. We go to Radio Shack and were there getting my phone for all of about 30 minutes. I got a cool Kyocera Slider phone. For all of those who would like to reach me and talk to the real me in person my number is 240-676-0089. I have free nights and weekends so that would be preferable since I got the plan with only 400 daytime minutes. If you want to cantact me by land line, my number is 301-214-4888. I have free long distance(one of those military living in the barracks perks) so you needn't worry about my bill running up. Call collect if you want, I don't care. The only thing to keep in mind is that I work nights, so 7am to 5pm are my sleeping hours. We made a clutch decision to go Paintballing the next day so we roll to the P-Ball store to get paint. We then go back to the Barracks and watch movies and get our gear ready for the next day.

    Saturday: Up bright and early for the hour and a half drive to the field. Two large guys and a skinny guy crammed into the cab of a Ford Ranger. Fun times. Anyways we get to the field and start getting ready. We go play a game and while we're waiting for the next game to start and a yellowjacket lands on the back of my neck. I tell my buddy to swat it away and what does he do...he blows on it. It doesn't move so I smash it against my neck, which turned out to be a bad idea. Good thing I'm not allergic, but god did it hurt. Only stung for about an hour or so then slowly started to go away. During one of the hyperball games(the two games we play are Hyperball, which is played on a small field and has many obstacles, or bunkers to hide behind, and Woodsball, played on a large forested field, usually with total elimination or CTF rules) me and this guy were exchanging paint for about 2 mins or so. I run out of paint in my hopper so I crouch down to reload and this guy books it around my bunker and lays about 5 rounds into my side at about 4 feet on full auto. Left 5 good sized welts. Good Stuff. Needless to say it was a good day. Any day I get to go P-Ballin is a good day.

    Sunday: Relaxation and recovery day. Watched movies and did laundry, and slept.

    Monday: Worked...Why do I always have to work on the holidays.

    Thats about it. No new news really. So Imma gonna go to sleep now and go to work tonight. Everyone take care...
    Navy Doc out...

    02 September 2004

    Word to Your Mother....

    I know, I know...It's been, like, forever since I last posted. Well, my lifes been hectic and I've been more occupied than usual with other things. Getting ready to transfer, or not....we'll see what my DH does.

    Let's start where I left off. I was off on thursday and I hung out with my buds, watching movies and such. I worked my ass off on Fri Sat and Sun. Who would expect anything less, right? I guess I've got something to prove now, and I'm confident that I'm doing a fucking badass job at it. I've got new motivation to be the best damn corpsman on the floor now. It's like a new energy. Being baptized by fire, and coming out unscathed. Still waiting to see what happens with previous events. My chief hasn't talked to me yet, and I'm not sure whats going to happen. But until then, I'm determined to show them how good I can be. On Sunday night I made a deal with my nurses, where I took three patients and they took the other three I was assigned to. This means they did the vitals, meds and such for their patients, and I did the same on mine. It made it a whole lot easier on me and I did a bang up job that night, only fogetting to do a couple things, but catching myself before they got out of hand. Simple things that really didn't make a big difference. I even gave report to the on-coming shift on my three patients. That was cool.

    On monday, my bud was out PT'ing with the Marine Liason getting ready to go to Field Medical Service School, where they teach you about being a field corpsman with the Marines. He's got orders to leave here on Oct. 16 bound for 29 Palms CA. This would put him less than 6 hours away from his 2 yr old daughter, who he hasn't seen in about 6 months or so. Anyways, they were out running with flak jackets down a steep, bumpy road. He said he was right behind the Sergeant looking right at the back of his head. Next thing he knows he was on the deck screaming in excrutiating pain and grasping his calf. He rolled into the ER and they took X-rays. What happened is he rolled his ankle and chipped about a 1 square cm chunk out of his Tibia and they think he tore a couple Ligaments because the opposite side of his leg was swollen like a grapefruit. His ankles fine, but his leg is fucked up. On monday and Tuesday nights I hung out with him, watching movies and chilling in his room because I just wanted him to know that I was there for him if he needed me. I'm here for all my brothers.

    Work last night was ok. We were busy from when I got on at 1830 till about 0000. Then from then it was slow until about 0300 when we started morning routine. Fun stuff. I did, what I think was, another bang up job. I'm fast on the path to redeeming my indiscretions.

    Well, thats about all thats new in my life. I'm going to get a new Cell Phone on Friday. Thats right I'm finally getting a Cell Phone. After Sprint screwed me over when I transfered here I have been a little leary about getting another one. I do have a phone here in my room, so I'm not completely cut off from the outside world.

    I'm going to end with a song that I think is pretty cool that I just heard for the first time a couple days ago.

    When passion's lost and all the trust is gone,
    Way too far, for way too long
    Children crying, cast out and neglected,
    Only in a world so cold, only in a world this cold
    Hold the hand of your best friend, look into their eyes
    Then watch them drift away
    Some might say, we've done the wrong things,
    For way too long, for way too long
    Fever inside the storm,
    So I'm turning away.
    Away from the name (Calling your names)
    Away from the stones (Throw sticks and stones)
    'Cause I'm through mending the wounds of us
    Keep your thorns 'Cause I'm running away,
    Away from the games(Fucking head games)
    Away from the space(Hate this head space)
    The circumstances of a world so cold
    Burning whispers, Remind me of the days,
    I was left alone, in a world this cold
    Guilty of the same things, provoked by the cause
    I've left alone, in a world so cold
    Fever inside the storm,So I'm turning away.
    Away from the name (Calling your names)
    Away from the stones (Throw sticks and stones)
    'Cause I'm through mending the wounds of us
    Keep your thorns 'Cause I'm running away,
    Away from the games(Fucking head games)
    Away from the space(Hate this head space)
    The circumstances of a world so cold
    I'm flying, I'm flying away,
    Away from the names(Calling your names)
    Away from the games (Fucking head games)
    The circumstances of a world so cold
    Why does everyone feel like my enemy,
    Don't want any part of depression or Darkness,
    I've had enough sick and tired,
    bring the sun, or I'm gone,Or I'm gone
    I'm backing out, I'm no pawn,
    No mother-fucking slave to this,
    Never lied
    Never left
    Never lived
    Never loved
    Never lost
    Never hurt
    Never worry about being me, or anyone else
    Not a care, no concern, don't give a shit about Anything
    Backing out, giving up, no mother-fucking Slave to this,
    Never lied
    Never left
    Never lived
    Never loved
    Never lost
    Never hurt
    Never worry about being me, or anyone else
    Not a care, no concern, don't give a shit about Anything,
    I need to find a darkened corner,
    A lightless corner,
    Where it's safer and calmer,
    I'm turning away.
    Away from the name (Calling your names)
    Away from the stones (Throw sticks and stones)
    'Cause I'm through mending the wounds of us
    I'm running away,
    Away from the games(Fucking head games)
    Away from the space(Hate this head space)
    The circumstances of a world so cold
    I'm flying, I'm flying away,
    Away from the names(Calling your names)
    Away from the games (Fucking head games)
    The circumstances of a world so cold

    ---Mudvayne, "A World So Cold"

    Navy Doc out...

    25 August 2004

    The way things are...

    I hate playing catchup with my blog. I apologize for not throwing a post up, just that I had some personal buisness to cover and didn't want to pollute my mind with thinking about what to write.

    It's 11 am and, alas, I should be sleeping. I had to get a fresh hair-chop for our inspection tomorrow morning. I feel like a recruit with the way they chopped me hair off, but I like it that way. Saves money on shampoo. But no worries about the sleep, since I have tonight off, I have plenty of time to play catchup on my sleep.

    I had my Sea-Duty screening physical on Monday. Good Stuff... I noticed on my apointment sheet that I had a female Doctor assigned to do my physical. I was thinking to myself how nice it would be for a hot female doctor to fondle my balls and stuff. How wrong I was!! I check in at the fifteen minutes early. The corpsman gets my vitals and takes me back to the exam room. None of your typical drop your drawers or get naked talk. The corpsman asks me the usual questions about Tobacco and Alchohol use. She says "Illicit Drugs?" and I answer "Yes please!" Typical military humor since we can't do none of that shit. She tells me that the doc will be in to see me in a couple minutes. After about 6 minutes of sitting there looking at the posters about clogged atereys and smoking cessation, this dude walks in and asks, "How's your ankle?" I was like "What the f--k are you talking about?" "Oh, sorry. Your the guy for the sea-duty screen" "Uh, yes sir." Turns out hes a civilian med student. Not an Intern or resident, a med student. I hate med students, but I'm used to them by now. He runs through my physical and everything. No pecker check, no butt check. Just lymph node palpation and heart and lung sounds. "I'll go talk to the Doc about your paperwork and we'll be back in a second." I had some authorization for sea-duty paperwork she needed to sign. Well here the doctor walks in. Old lady, must have been 50 with thick coke-bottle glasses and moles all over her face. Just wanted to listen to my ticker, since it was beating fast from the 3 cups of coffee and the 3 ciggarettes I had smoked before my appointment. Smart thing to do huh? Then she notices my face is flushed, because its hotter than hell in the exam room. She orders a Thyroid test to see if my thyroid is functioning properly. WTF??? Theres nothing wrong with my Thyroid! And thats exactly what my labs looked like when I looked them up last night on the system. So I'm all cleared for Sea-Duty. Now if I could only get my Department Head to sign my sheet for Detach date verification, which she refuses to sign for reasons I'll get to in a minute.

    Monday night was also my first day back at work since the incident last week. Went off without a hitch, except that my nurse was charge, so I was running around doing most of the work. Note to self: Do not wear brand new uniform shoes on a 12 hour shift before properly breaking them in. My feet were throbbing by the night's end, since I was on my feet, running around like a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. No other problems than that, except I got behind a little here and there for patient load reasons. You can't do everything at once when your by yourself. I spent a probably a total of an hour on the phone with the Pharmacy trying to get the meds for our patients sent up. To all the RNs that read my blog...Are all hospital pharmacys jacked up to the point where you have to send the MD Orders 20 billion times before they send the meds up 2 1/2 hours after the patient was supposed to get them? Good stuff!

    Last night was more of the same. Had a demented patient that fell down flat on her face and busted the shite out of it. Got really combative and really wouldn't let us do anything but vitals. Not too busy. Nurses heped me out a lot last night. It was a lax night and we all heckled and joked with each other. One of the nurses kept hitting me in the nuts with his stethoscope. So while he was sitting charting on the computer, I dropped a liter bag of saline(unopened) right on his lap. Talk about hurting. Paybacks a bitch, huh?

    This morning, as the shift was winding down, my DH said she wanted to speak with me about last weeks "event." We sat and talked for a good hour about the stress I've been under and outlets for help. I have an appointment to go see the chaplain to get some pointers on some stress relieving activities that'll get my mind off stuff so I can function better at work. I'm probably going to see my Chief for a DRB( Disciplinary Review Board). My LPO says its very unlikely that it'll go farther than that, but I'll keep everyone posted on how things work out. They have to collect "Data" on me before they do a formal board so I just sit and wait for now I guess. Theres not much data to collect on me since before these incidents I have nothing bad in my record. A lot of the stuff I have are compliments and LOA's (Letters of Appreciation). My eval scores are decent. I doubt anything bads gonna come down. More EMI probably. I know when my HM1 comes off con leave, he'll be pissed at me and real dissappointed. I guess you cant please 'em all. I try though, maybe too hard at times. To the reason my DH won't sign my transfer paperwork is that she needs to think about whether or not I'm qualified enough at this point to be the Jr. Corpsman onboard ship. Load of BS that it is. Another thing I have to wait on.

    Well here we are. Tuesday morning at 12:30. Tired as fuck and ready for bed. Gonna watch Mad Max and rift off to never-neverland.

    Navy Doc Out...

    23 August 2004

    The Time of Your Life

    Another turning point a fork stuck in the road
    Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go
    So make the best of this test and don't ask why
    It's not a question but a lesson learned in time

    It's something unpredictable
    But in the end is right
    I hope you had the time of your life

    So take the photographs and still frames in your mind
    Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
    Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
    For what it's worth it was worth all the while

    It's something unpredictable
    But in the end is right
    I hope you had the time of your life

    It's something unpredictable
    But in the end is right
    I hope you had the time of your life

    It's something unpredictable
    But in the end is right
    I hope you had the time of your life
    -Green Day, Good Riddance(Time of your Life)

    This song is all I'm thinking right now...Can't think of much else to post about right now. Tkae care everyone.

    20 August 2004

    Life...funny isn't it....

    Life has a strange way of coming and smacking you right in the face.

    First off, my ex.... Skank whore, slut, bitch that she is. Well maybe thats a little harsh, but as you can tell I harbor bad feelings with the whole mess. I feel it necessary to give a rundown of the history between us two. When I was a junior in high school( 4 years ago) she broke up with her boyfriend. I saw the opportunity to ask her out. So we went on a couple dates and decided that we should date each other exclusively, or go steady as some call it. So we did the dating thing, kissing in the halls at school, taking each other to school dances, stuff like that. Mind you she was a year older than me, and a Senior. After graduation she stayed around and we continued to go out together. I took her to my Senior Prom, and the NJROTC Navy Ball, while she was in school, we were in together. I guess you could call her my high school sweetheart. I hung around after I graduated also, not sure what to do with my life. She got me a job at the Senior Citizen retirement home that she was a receptionist at working up in the kitchen. Well I worked there for about 6-7 months, then I figured that to be a pilot (which has been my childhood dream since that movie called "Top Gun" came out) I had to join the military. Of course being the independent and spontaneous person that I am, I went and signed up. That very same day I went and bought an engagement ring, I was going to pop the question. Somehow, through channels still unknown, she found out that I had joined up before I got the chance to tell her. I went to go see her the next day to take her out to dinner, where I was going to propose. Before I got the chance she told me that she knew I was going to be leaving to go to boot camp soon and that she couldn't take being that far apart and that she wanted to end it. This crushed me, but there was nothing I could do but get up and walk away from it all and move on with my life. Fast Forward till present day... She's married to a navy guy and 7 months pregenant with their first and his third child. They live in Florida and he's deployed. She's been leaving messages on my voice mail telling me that "She needs me." I'm severely stressed over this. And just for the record, we never had sex. She wanted to wait till she got married.

    The next thing thats stressing me out beyond repair. Last week I mischarted urine output on a man whos on Dialysis. He hasn't pissed in 3 years. Obviously I made a mistake, but no one wants to see it that way. On top of the mistake I made 3 weeks ago which was similar in nature, I can only speculate on what they want to do to me, but I have a pretty good idea. I'll probably go to a Disciplinary review board with my Chief, who'll recommend XOI. I'll go to XOI and he'll recommend Captain's Mast. Thats where the shit is going to hit the fan. Worst case scenario is that I'll get 45 days Restriction / Extra Duty, forfeiture of 1/2 months pay x2, lose my Cadeucus( no longer be a corpsman) and receive a Bad Conduct Discharge from the military. My life is ruined. I don't know why I'm telling everyone this. I guess I need to get it off my chest.

    I just want to crawl into a ball and disappear for awhile. I'm scared shitless right now. If I do get a BCD, I wont be able to even work at McDonald's. I'm such a wreck right now. I dont deserve to be called 'Doc' or even corpsman. I wonder what would become of me.

    I have buisness to attend to. I dont know how long it'll be before I post again, so I love everybody and wish you all the best. Take Care......

    Marc out....

    17 August 2004

    Let's see....what's new

    I went to PSD today...

    Well first I went to Military Family Health Center and got my record updated. Verified my 12 month for my HIV, which I'm cool with. Then I went to PSD and got my Transfer package. I filled out this form that asked if I wanted Advance Pay. Hell yes I want Advance Pay, I'll be 21. That's drinking money! No dependents, so I didn't have to fill out all that hoo-hah. No car, again none of that hoo-hah. I handed it to my Div-O to sign and she signed it no questions asked. Now my DH has to sign it...whos on leave right now. Anyways after that I went to the PRT office to get that stuff signed. The guy looked in the computer and signed my sheet, 1 failure, in Body-Comp standards, Hell yeah! No weight no tape, I was golden. Now the next thing I have to do is get my sea-duty screening accomplished. After that, its in the bag baby.

    So the day I want to leave here is 01DEC2004, I'll fly into Sea-Tac and chill there for a couple days with some friends before going home to Port Orchard. Mom and Dad, I'm coming home!!!

    What else to talk about.... I said my final goodbyes to Doc Arthur tonight. He leaves early tomorrow morning. I know i've said it once and I'll say it again. Fair Winds and Following seas Doc. "I WILL see you again. But not yet, not yet." --Gladiator Take care my friend. I'm gonna move to Hamlin so I can be your EMT when you're a Paramedic! You are my brother!

    Well, I got peeps that wanna talk so I gotta run for now.

    Navy Doc out...

    16 August 2004

    "Whats all the blog about?"

    When I walked into work yesterday morning there was a Washington Times sitting on the desk at the nurses station. On the front page was a picture taken at the Democratic national convention and the headline read, "What's all the blog about?" Turns out it was a story about the blogging phenomena. Its was mostly about amateur journalists and political junkies who have started their own blog site. Not a word was written about the private blogs that many of us have, nothing about the numerous military blogs out there. Of course the Times is an etremely liberal newspaper so it didn't surprise me. Heres the link to the story one the web:

    Whats all the Blog about?

    Going to sleep...see you all tonight

    15 August 2004

    This is what being a Corpsman is all about

    I wasn't going to post until my weekend of work was over, but I just have to post these happenings that happened at work last night.

    I'm walking on Cloud Nine right now.

    I had two particular instances last night when my heart just wanted to erupt with joy. I had an admit come in last night around two in the morning with CHF Exaserbation. She has a history of PTSD(Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) from being in a concentration camp in WWII. All this aside she is a complete sweetheart. Me being my compassionate self, bend over backwards for all my patients. Anyways somehow we got on the subject of transferring while I was drawing her blood. She says to me, "You're going to Hawaii, huh? You lucky dog. You'll probably meet yourself a girlfriend there. You will! Your not a bad looking guy. If I was about 16 or 17 I would definitely go for you." Needless to say I was quite taken aback by her remarks. It just confirms my suspicions that I'm a sexy bitch.

    I was also taking care of a Ret. Marine Corps Maj. with HIV. He's been through everything health wise and is about ready to give up. All the estimates that we've gotten from the doctors have given him less than 6 months to live. I feel for the guy. Again I give my usual compassionate caring care to this gentlemen. Towards the end of the shift I was emptying his garbage and he says to me, "Doc(hearing the term "Doc" from a marine sends me into shivers of pure ecstacy), I just wanted to thank you for doing the best damn job I have seen. For making me feel comfortable and cared for." I walked over to him and put my hand on my shoulder, trying not to tear up in front of him and replied, "Major, thats my job. To keep people on this earth as long as their stay here entails." He looked at me, smiled and nodded, tears welling in his eyes. This is what being a Doc is all about.

    Thats all. Navy Doc out...

    13 August 2004

    Thoughts from a distressed mind

    This is going to be a short post, due to the fact that I need to get some things off my chest before I go to bed...

    First off, to everyone that has been following, my punishment for that mistake I made is over and went off without a hitch. I had to present a report about honor and integrity to my subordinates this morning. Give it a couple days and lets see how they take it.

    Next, a question that has plagued me my entire life. Why, when I start to get close to someone, do I do something to push them away? You know who you are, and I'm sorry. You have been a blessing in my life. You were able to make me smile when things started looking bleak. A great friendship has sprouted and its something that I don't want to lose. I cherish it too much.

    Thats it. Navy Doc out...

    12 August 2004

    Change is the only constant in life. But why now?

    I love the rain. But why does it always make me think of the bad things to life?

    Why do I always seem to get close to someone right before they have to leave? One of my buds is tranfering and I feel like I hardly know him. I really only got to know him about 3 or 4 months ago, and I know that if I had more time to get to know him it wouldn't be so bad. One of the best guys that I met so far in the military. The other one that I've known since A school introduced us. Hes also a stand-up guy and someone that it's been a pleasure knowing. They're both going with the marines and that scares me. They are wonderful people and I just don't want anything to happen to them. I know for sure that one of them is deploying to Iraq in the very near future after he gets to his new unit at 29 Sticks. Both of them introduced me to the aspect of either running Fire or EMS after I get out, and I want to thank them for that. You guys are the best people I've met since being in the service. You've shown me my true calling in life and something that I would never be ashamed of doing, serving my fellow man. I want to thank you for everything you've shown me and taught me, and taking me in when no one else will. Doc Arthur and Doc Haines, fair winds and following seas, and may the very hand of God hold you in his hand(Arthur, I know you don't believe but just take it as it is). So to all the nights at the Broadway Diner, heres a toast to you! And yes Haines, you can have the milk WITH your meal.

    If you didn't guess by earlier on, it's raining here and it's awesome. Thunder and lightning every couple minutes. Not much new going around here. Another day off, thats three in a row for everybody thats counting. Just a lot of thoughts running through my mind, trying to dodge all the cobwebs. So let's see, what to write about?

    I went Paintballing on Saturday with the aforementioned gentlemen. Had a great time. We always end up on the same team for some reason. Needless to say we had a fucking blast. Then one of the guys came and watched me ge ink'd. Which by the way, it icthes like a bitch, cuz it's starting to peel. This is worse than actually getting it. The agony!

    I also gotta start my own transfer process next week. For everybody that hasn't heard, I'm doing a cross-country and then some transfer from MD to Pearl Harbor, HI in December, witha 5 day stint in San Diego in between leave and reporting to the ship. I will be stationed on board the USS Reuben James (FFG-57). It will be an awesome experience I'm sure, to say the least. See, as a corpsman, I'm the only medical for 250 people onboard, except for maybe a First Class or a Chief, and maybe a striker underneath me. Plus, it's in Hawaii, which is like an added bonus to it all. I gotta go to the PRT office and get weighed and taped. Then go to PSD and pick up my transfer package where I can choose to get a whole bunch of advance pay and stuff, and I also get to pick the day I leave. Which I'm hoping will be in Late November or early December. I'm excited because there will be no bitchy nurses, and no doctors. It's all me baby!

    Well thats about it for now. I'll catch up with y'all later.

    10 August 2004

    Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

    "Hand me my lightsaber, its the one that says bad mother fucker on it."

    This blog took off faster than I realized.

    Most of the contacts that I have now came through Vadergrrrl, one of the sweetest and wonderful bloggers out there. She happens to live about 20 minutes from my house in Washington. Her support of our Armed Forces is unrivaled by anyone in my opinion.

    How I came to write this blog? I saw a article in People or some magazine like that about 2 months ago about an Army soldier in Iraq. I was at work at the time, it was a pretty slow night and right there I hopped on the computer and went to the page. I read a little bit and saw this link to a blog Doc in the Box and was suprised to find out it was a Corpsman deployed with a Casualty Evacuation squadron with the USMC. I thought to myself, "How ironic is this?" So I decided right then and there to start up my own and post about Corpsman life stateside, and give it a reality of what a Sailors life is like whos stuck on the shore(even though lately I haven't written much about work).

    After a couple days I notice a post from someone with the SN Vadergrrrl. I figured it was just some young chick with a thing for guys in the military. So I cruise on over to her blog. Turns out shes a 34 year old, military loving woman who just so happens to live near my hometown. So turns a friendship budding that has given me new energy to do what I love. I love you grrrl.

    So after a while people follow her link to my blog and I've added them to my links. I just wanted to say thanks to everyone for checking it out. So now on to daily events....

    Today was pretty uneventful. Days off usually are. I got off work this morning about usual time and stayed up and watched one of my favorite racing movies, "Days of Thunder." After that I jumped on the net for a little while and cruised around, looking for upgrades to my Paintball Marker, and a Digital Camera. Then I threw on Episode II, curled up into my bed and fell asleep around 1 or 2 in the afternoon. I woke up about 5 or 6 and went outside to smoke. I met a couple of buds out there and we roll out to an "All You Can Eat" pizza joint. 4.81 for the Pizza bar and a Drink...beats Godfathers any day of the week. Anyways after that we come home and I find out that my bud was rear-ended today. That sucks, since hes headed on PCS leave in 6 days. Stick it out Colin, I'm here for ya buddy.

    Well thats about it for now... Hopefully something interesting happens so I can write about it. Everyone take care and keep your heads up.

    Still nothing to write about

    I got this from Aimee's blog. Seems like shes hit the same writers block I have and just started doing shit for the hell of it. Here it is....check it out!

    The \\
    Last Cigarette:About an Hour AGo
    Last Alcoholic Drink:LaBatts Blue, sometime last week
    Last Car Ride:yesterday afternoon
    Last Kiss:May....yes the month of May
    Last Good Cry:Last Friday
    Last Library Book:Some Star Wars Book
    Last book bought:Tom Clancy's The Bear and The Dragon
    Last Book Read:Starship Troopers by Robert Heinlein
    Last Movie Seen in Theatres:King Arthur
    Last Movie Rented:Hidalgo
    Last Cuss Word Uttered:Fuck
    Last Beverage Drank:Ginger Ale
    Last Food Consumed:Ice Cream
    Last Crush:Last Year Some time...currently in one, you know who you are!
    Last Phone Call:To my Mom
    Last TV Show Watched:Fear Factor
    Last Time Showered:About 5:45 pm last night
    Last Shoes Worn:Black Oxford Uniform Shoes
    Last CD Played:Metallica-Garage Inc. Disc 1
    Last Item Bought:Sweet n' Sour Chicken
    Last Download:Superman- Eminem
    Last Annoyance:My Nurse
    Last Disappointment:I'd rather not talk abot it
    Last Soda Drank:Mountain Dew
    Last Thing Written:Mountain Dew
    Last Key Used:my Locker Key
    Last Words Spoken:Hey look at this
    Last Sleep:About two hours ago
    Last Ice Cream Eaten:Vanilla
    Last Chair Sat In:Rolling Chair
    Last Webpage Visited:randomaimee.blogspot.com


    09 August 2004

    A Few Questions...

    I'm still not in the mood to write anything, it's kinda a melancholy mood right now. I'm at work, another slow night tonight I guess. So heres a little song, that happens to be from one of my more favorite country artists, Clay Walker.

    How in this world can we put a man on the moon,
    And still have a need for a place like St Jude's?
    And why is one man born,In a place where all they know is war?
    An' a guy like me,Has always been free.

    An' how can two people who built a lovin' home,
    Try for years an' never have a child of their own?
    When somewhere out there tonight,
    There's a baby no-one's holdin' tight:In need of love.To me, that don't add up.

    But I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans.
    I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky.
    So I don't mean to second guess you,
    Or criticise what I don't understand.
    These are just a few questions I have.

    An' why did my cousin have to die in that crash?
    A good kid, only seventeen, I still wonder 'bout that.
    It seems unfair to me,Some get the chance to chase their dreams,An' some don't.
    But what do I know?

    I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans.
    I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky.
    So I don't mean to second guess you,
    Or criticise what I don't understand.
    These are just a few questions I have.

    Why do I feel like you hear these prayers of mine.
    When so many oughta be ahead of me in line?
    When you look down on me,Can you see the good through all the bad?
    These are just a few questions I have.

    -A Few Questions, Clay Walker, Arista Records

    I hope this song will touch everyone as it had touched me. I hope you all stay safe....

    08 August 2004

    scorpion is old tat, Kanji is new tat Posted by Hello

    :: how jedi are you? ::



    If I were a character in The Lord of the Rings, I would be Aragorn, Man of the West, leader of the Rangers who guard the hobbits.

    In the movie, I am played by Viggo Mortensen.

    Who would you be?
    Zovakware Lord of the Rings Test with Perseus Web Survey Software

    06 August 2004

    A reminder of why we are in Iraq

    I know this post may not agree with everyone out there. All I can say is that I feel it necessary to remind everyone why it is, we do what we do, and why I would rather be in Iraq than sitting here doing nothing. All I say is that respect my opinions and do not flood my comments section with negative posts. Thank You.

    We are rapidly approaching the 3 year anniversary of the day that changed everyones life, for better or for worse. To me, it was for the better. It showed America what needed to be done and gave us the motivation to do so. A lot of people died that day, and they will be forever honored in the songs and speech of angels for eternity. Our security was lax. The higher ups didn't see the threat as concerning enough to do anything about. Some say it was Bushs fault that we were hit, but remember that he had barely been in office for a year. He had to play with the cards he was dealt, and he made a two pair into a royal flush. We attacked Afghanistan swiftly and decisively, freeing its people from tyranny and opression.

    The next part was not going to be as easy. When George W. Bush said, "We will punish the terrorists responsible, and also those who harbor them," he made a promise to every country on the face of the planet that we would try our damndest to wipe out the scurge of the earth once and for all. He said it was going to be difficult, long, and a different kind of war than we had ever fought. But we couldn't just storm into Iraq, guns ablazing. We had to find a reason to do it logically and decisively. Enter Colin Powell and his intelligence about the WMDs. I cant remember how old the intelligence was at the time, and I doubt it was fabricated. All i know is that we gave them plenty enough time to destroy all evidence of their production. Some say it was started over oil, maybe. Some say it was to finish what George Bush, Sr. started way back in the gulf war, highly doubtful. I say, we knew we had to remove Sadaam from power and restore democracy to Iraq. The first parts now over, all we have to do is to subdue the insurgents and get the government back on its feet. Think briefly about how the world would react to us pulling out of Iraq because of insugents. The insurgents would win, and all the countries harboring terrorists would think that they could just bully us around.

    Another thing is that you always hear about all the boys dying over there. Again negative feedback from liberal journalists. You never hear about the oustanding medical care that the Navy Corpsman and Army medics provide to the Iraqi civilians. You dont hear about the Army Corps of Engineers and Navy Seabees helping rebuild the damaged buildings in Iraq. To those who say that so many people have died over there and we should come home, I haev something to say to you. After D-Day, nobody protested that our boys come home. We liberated a continent from an opressive ruler, with the whole-hearted support of a grateful nation. So many more boys and men died on the beaches of Normandy than have died in the Gulf War and OIF combined. War isn't sugar coated and easy to swallow. The very thought of it kills me inside, but we all signed on the dotted line. It's our cross to bear. Ask the Marine on the wall over there if he wants to go home and leave a job half-assed finished, I'm sure he would tell you to "Fuck Off and die." I would. War is hell, and people die, but think of how many more men, woman and children would die because we didn't do something about it.

    My next topic is on the President. Michael Moore, this ones for you. George W. Bush is your good ole hometown american man. Who gives a shit how he talks, or what he says. I don't, in fact I think that he relates to more people with the way he talks. He just says whats on his mind and doesn't lose any sleep over it. And his grammar...half the people in this country have bad grammar, so why dont you make fun of them too? His support and buildup of the military has been 100%. We have received 3 payraises in the last 3 years hes been in office. The ones that Bill "Slick Willy" Clinton said he would give us after he reduced the size of our Carrier fleet. Go suck a golf ball through a garden hose, ass hole. I bet G. Dubya gets some every night from Laura too, so no need for him to go to his intern. Get a clue Hillary! I haven't seen Farenheit 9/11 and nor do I want to. Half the things that happened on that day was from the previous president in office, not bush. And the Economy? Studies have shown that it takes 5-7 years for mistakes made in the economy to show up on Wall Street. So guess whos to blame on that one? That's right! Bill.... I support Bush 100%! Hes got my vote, Keep kicking ass Dubya!

    So I hope you liked my little rant this evening....I'm tired and I gotta get up for paintball in the morning.

    And thats all I got to say about that...

    05 August 2004

    Breathe that breath...then sigh with relief


    There. Thats better.

    Here I am feasting on my vending machine burritos at work

    I had a meeting with my SLPO this morning. He was really cool about things. He didn't sugar coat the fact that I fucked up, which I know for sure that I did. Come to find out that my commander wanted to push it all the way up, but my SLPO defended me to the fact that it was my first offense, i've been an outstanding corpsman thus far with no complaints to speak of. We started talking about things like burnout and stuff that "might" be going wrong. He was really cool about letting me speak my mind and open up, instead of being oppresive and overbearing. I went home a new person, refreshed and alive. No more stress. Gonna take my lumps and be done with it. Couseling chit and EMI. I'm lucky.

    Well take care, back to work.
    Peace out, my homies

    03 August 2004

    Accelerate your life.....thats what the commercial says

    The last couple of days, work has been hell. Thank god for a day off.

    Some shits going on at work that I really can't talk about, but I might get screwed really bad-like. I make a mistake, granted it wasn't exactly a small one, but still. I've never had a complaint against me, counseling(verbal or otherwise), or bad marks of any kind. Then comes the threat that they might throw the book at me. For you civilians, that means Captains Mast, or XOI. That's really got me shaking in my boon-dockers really bad. Thats career demening territory. Why do they not see that I've been an upstanding, outstanding hard-worker for them thus far and they should give me a break. My Senior LPO(leading petty officer....kinda like a manager) asked me what my punishment should be. Thats torture enough, but I think I know what to say.

    Anyways, I went on a ride-along with my buddys Volly Fire Department last night. I got to meet his crew, nice group of guys. Though we only got one call I had a blast. And it wasn't even a fire. Somebody had smelled some kind of noxious odor and called the FD. I was wanting to see a fire, but it was cool just hanging out at the firehouse. We were watching Stargate SG-1 when the call came in. Now a little explanation of the different bells. They have a bell for the Ambulance, One Truck, Two Trucks and Empty Station. Well, we were sitting there watching the TV like I said before, and the Empty station, minus Ambo(because the EMTs ride in the trucks) bell goes off. Everybody jumps up and books it to their gear, which is usually staged on the floor for easy access. My ride-along for the night was with the chief, who seems like a good-natured guy but doesn't talk much to the new guys, so I'm to his truck before he is, which is a good thing. Lights and sirens baby, COOL AS SHIT!!! I had a good time nonetheless. I'm even thinking about dropping an app to join a Volly squad either here, in Hawaii, or when I get home.

    Well thats about it for now. I hope all of yous people are safe and in good spirits.

    31 July 2004

    At work and not in the mood to write much


    Name / Username:

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    Navy Doc is radioactive. Wear protective clothing at all times.


    From Go-Quiz.com

    How to make a Marc

    5 parts friendliness

    5 parts silliness

    5 parts leadership
    Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of sadness


    Personality cocktail
    From Go-Quiz.com

    Your Icecream Flavour is...Chocolate!
    You are the all time favorite, chocolate! Turning white kids black since the 1800s. Staining carpets, car seats, and bed sheets for centuries. One thing is for sure, you will never go out of style. You can't go wrong with chocolate!
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    30 July 2004

    In that mood...

    To everyone out there fighting for freedom and democracy:  

    "Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."
    John 15:13

    My Dear Son, it is almost June,
    I hope this letter catches up to you, and finds you well.
    Its been dry but they’re calling for rain,
    And everything's the same ol’ same in Johnsonville.
    Your stubborn 'ol Daddy ain’t said too much,
    But I’m sure you know he sends his love,
    And she goes on,
    In a letter from home.
    I hold it up and show my buddies,
    Like we ain’t scared and our boots ain’t muddy, and they all laugh,
    Like there’s something funny bout’ the way I talk,
    When I say: "Mama sends her best y’all."
    I fold it up an' put it in my shirt,
    Pick up my gun an' get back to work.
    An' it keeps me driving me on,
    Waiting on letters from home.
    My Dearest Love, its almost dawn.
    I’ve been lying here all night long wondering where you might be.
    I saw your Mama and I showed her the ring.
    Man on the television said something so I couldn’t sleep.
    But I’ll be all right, I’m just missing you.
    An' this is me kissing you:
    XX’s and OO’s,
    In a letter from home.
    I hold it up and show my buddies,
    Like we ain’t scared and our boots ain’t muddy, and they all laugh,
    'Cause she calls me "Honey", but they take it hard,
    'Cause I don’t read the good parts.
    I fold it up an' put it in my shirt,
    Pick up my gun an' get back to work.
    An' it keeps me driving me on,
    Waiting on letters from home.
    Dear Son, I know I ain’t written,
    But sittin' here tonight, alone in the kitchen, it occurs to me,
    I might not have said, so I’ll say it now:
    Son, you make me proud.
    I hold it up and show my buddies,
    Like we ain’t scared and our boots ain’t muddy, but no one laughs,
    'Cause there ain’t nothing funny when a soldier cries.
    An' I just wipe me eyes.
    I fold it up an' put it in my shirt,
    Pick up my gun an' get back to work.
    An' it keeps me driving me on,
    Waiting on letters from home.
    -Letters from Home,
     John Michael Montgomery


    I encourage everyone to go to CMT.com and check out the Military Version of this song with sound clips of soldiers reading parts of letters inbetween the verses, very powerful.

    Not much going on tonight.  We got paid tonight so I cant wait to blow my money, hehehe.  Anyways, been reading, watching movies, and playing video games.  Typical night off.  Anyways, I want to give a shout out to vadergrrrl, that Bremelo out there living it up back home.  Hang in there, we all love ya.  To Doc Arthur, You're my boy and you shall suceed! Other than that, thats it from my world tonight.  Take care everyone and be cool!

    My life is rated R.
    What is your life rated?

    28 July 2004

    More Corpsman stuff

    They always talk about the Marines in this picture, but did you know there was a Corpsman here too?  His name was John Bradley, who a few days before had braved enemy mortar and machine-gun fire to administer first aid to a wounded Marine and then drag him to safety. For this act of heroism Bradley would receive the Navy Cross, an award second only to the Medal of Honor. In the picture you can just barely see the tip of his helmet by the pole.

    It just goes to show that wherever the marines go, his "doc" isn't far behind.

    Anyways, tonights going good.  Not too much action to speak of at work.  The good crew again, with a few others.  We all do our job and go home at night.  My bud let me borrow Robert A. Heinleins "Starship Troopers."  Waaaaayyy different than the movie, toooootally different view.  Well, I'm bored and theres not much to talk about right now, which I see as a good thing.  So everyone take care and dont do anything I wouldn't do.

    "The hero is commonly the simplest and obscurest of men."  --Henry David Thoreau